What's your new name?

I work in a very unique ministry who's mission is to provide advocacy, education and job search opportunities to the homeless, under-educated and low income unemployed. The staff make-up is definatly not what you will find in most social service settings. Occasionally, one of the staff will bring in something poignant, way-cool or humorous in to share and post it on our lunch room bulletin board. This is what I found this morning.....

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey:
The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name

a=poopsie b=lumpy c=buttercup d=tgidget e=crusty f=greasy g=fluffy

h=cheeseball i=chim-chim j=stinky k=flunky l-boogie m=pinky n=zippy<

o=goober p=doofus q=slimy r=loopy s=snotty t=tootsie

u=dorkey v=squeezit w=oprah x=skipper y=dinky z=zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your middle name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a=apple b=toilet c=giggle d=burger e=girdle f=barf g=lizard

h=waffle i=cootie j=monkey k=potty l=liver m=banana n=rhino

o=bubble p=hamster q=toad r=gizzard s=pizza t=gerbil u=chicken

v=pickle w=chuckle x=tofu y=gorilla z=stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a=head b=mouth c=face d=nose e=tush f=breath g=pants

h=shorts i=lips j=honker k=butt l=brain m=tushie n=chunks

o=hiney p=biscuts q=toes r=buns s=fanny t=sniffer u=sprinkles

v=kisser w=pop x=humperdink y=brains z=juice

So for example, George W. Bush's new name is "Goober Chickenshorts"
Mine, since I do not have a middle name became "Buttercup Nose"
Remember: Children laugh an average of 146 times a day;
Adults laugh an average 4 times a day.
Put More Laughter in Your Life!